Sunday, May 1, 2011

I know I'm not a good son. What a sentence to start off a post. Well I find it really hard to open up to my dad and mum for some reason. Probably because of the talks we normally engage in. In the past, it's always about what they think and never about what I think. This resulted in the mentality that I have all the time when they are interested to have a talk with me. I always shut everything they say down. I don't wish to hear anything because I know it's always about persuading me to follow what they want. Even if I were to try to convince them, it would normally fall on deaf ears. It might be due to the barrier that we have: most of the time we don't see each other. And also because of this, they seem to only want me to follow their instructions and all, because they don't want to worry so much. Thus all I could do is to follow.

Now, when I decided to voice out my opinions, do they slowly try to accept the fact that I've my own thinking. It's evident that they still try to persuade me because of their traditional thinking, but I feel that I have the choice to make my decisions more liberally now. Nevertheless, I think that they should try to open up, try to understand that there are always other solutions to a problem, likewise there are always rules that can be flexible. It's only when you try to think of more solutions rather than the one and only solution, will you see that there are actually many other better solutions out there. There can never be a best solution to a problem, other than a math one.

I understand that parents will never stop worrying for their children, no matter how old they are. In their eyes, children will forever be children. It's almost impossible to not think of the many dangers that might be awaiting their children out there. In a parent's eyes, a child must always be looked from above, from far away, within the reach, so that the parent can save the child from any danger. I understand that point, but only if the child starts to encounter failures, will the child start to grow up mentally. I wouldn't say that I encounter many failures that benefit me a lot throughout this 20 years, but I feel that I've began to see things in different perspectives. I really want them to trust me that every move that I take, I will consider the risks, and try to minimize any harm done. Of course, there are still many things that can't be predicted by pure judgment.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

there are many times in life where you really feel like just disappearing into thin air. you just hope everything comes to an end. but when you're enjoying life, you will never harbor the though of wanting to die. humans are like that, animals alike. we all just want to enjoy the good times and want to skip the bad times like how you skip bad moments in a video. how many people wish that they can just delete away memories and events that they don't want to remember from their life like right clicking a file and deleting it, after which clearing the recycle bin. however, it's evident that we all can't have everything the way we want it. nevertheless, we should really face our problems with an open heart, willing to accept failures is the way to go. it's only when you learn to accept the bad times of life, will you enjoy life to the fullest. when you go through hardship, you'll learn how to cherish things that never seemed important in your life, or rather, insignificant.

inspirational thoughts aside, i think that i should start picking up academically or rather socially. after being in this organisation for too long, it's inevitable that one would become rather 'brain dead'. i wish to study mass communications or video design, though i still prefer the former. i think that being able to write a piece of work that will be read by others feels rather fulfilling, especially when others remember your work. it's something that can't be achieved overnight and only through experience and reputation. even if i were to be able to show the masses a small piece of work that might probably brighten up their day or something close, i think it'd be a very good first step. i guess the only way to go about doing this is education. like many say, education is the remedy to poverty. i think i have to improve myself during this time that i have for myself, though i'm rather tied up with obligations. and after i'm free from these ties, i would be able to be fresh in my thinking and be able to study mass communications and eventually be a journalist. i definitely have lots to improve, it's a big world out there.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

what could i possibly keep myself busy with for this remaining time that i've left? i really do hope i can find out soon. the 'empty' and 'futile' time that i've been spending for the past 6 months is wearing me out, psychologically. i'm not really a person that enjoys having a mind without any thoughts. i need to be constantly thinking of something, of course something that makes sense and isn't a waste of time. i need something to look forward to in other words. i need some sort of motivation so that i am able to continue moving on without swaying to other sides of the road.

i want to pick skills that will help me in the future in the society. i'm still thinking of what could i probably do, which really troubles me a lot. i do not wish to be idling around doing nothing that will benefit my life in the near future. probably taking up courses would be a good idea, but with the limited time i have, i think my choices might be rather few. i need something inspirational... this is one of the points in life where you feel very lost. you seem to have lost yourself in the middle of nowhere and you're trying your best to get back on track.

the only thing i look forward to now is every friday... i think that's pretty pathetic. i want to be doing something that is beneficial and poof, it's friday. that feeling is indescribably great because you know that you haven't been doing nuts and you deserve the weekend. now i just feel that i'm taking every day for granted, just waiting for time to pass. this is the thinking of a sloth, just eating and sleeping and wait for time to pass. damn!!! when can i get out of this zone, i want to be back on track. back to the days where i have things to look forward to, things that i wanna accomplish etc. maybe i really do need to take up a course, even if it means no recreational time. ah, i wish someone could advice me what to do now. i don't need the best of all solutions, but just a decision. it doesn't matter what the outcome is, as long as you know you're in control and you make a decision. it's better to regret doing it than not to have the chance to even regret at all. at least i know i've tried.

i've gotta admit, there are things going through my mind... i'm sure this insomnia didn't come just like that. i'm really quite fed up with what i've to put up with. there are many things in life that you can't control, especially when it doesn't directly involves yourself. and i think all this while music has been making me sleep more soundly. it might be one of the reasons why i've been losing sleep without listening to music while i sleep i guess.

right now i'm wide awake though i know mentally i'm quite exhausted. i really dun wish for this to continue, hope music will bring me back my refreshing sleep that i used to have everyday. i've been lacking this sufficient sleep that i'm longing for since a very long time. i think i rather rush in the early morning than to wake up too early and can't get back to sleep. i think life in singapore is already so hectic and if we're deprived of even the basic need like sleep... alright i can't think of an appropriate word to use, but i'm dying to get some sleep man...

let's just say that everyday in here is so boring that i've started to think about things that never crossed my mind. the more issues accumulated in my mind, the more my mind is occupied. the more my mind is occupied, the more i think before sleep and here i am, insomnia. i think the time i have all to myself is reducing and probably i'm starting to lose myself. probably i need more time alone, as in at home, so that i can have myself back. i believe to a certain extent that we all need our space, we all need that 'time' for us to regenerate from all things that have been happening in between your last rest. probably this insomnia might be due to this...

let's say i'm a person who needs quiet time with music to sort out my thoughts. i've been rushing my entire time during this 6 months or so, that i dun really have much time to stop and think. the limited time that i have is putting lots of stress on me, and i should really STOP, sit, and think. my thoughts are all clustered together, seems to be an entangled rope, pretty much screwed one. i never tried to seek much help from others when it comes to thoughts, because i felt that no one would understand me better than myself. i just need quality time, all to sort out my thoughts.

okay the first thing on my mind is of course, holiday! definitely something that i need. a time where i can enjoy without any worries that anyone would try and contact me and disrupt my relaxing time. secondly is refreshing sleep without any significant dreams that i would remember after i wake up or while i'm asleep. my desired lean tummy. i know this sounds a little gay or girlish or whatever you wanna call it, but it's really quite important i think. next would a healthy lifestyle which i think i'm already trying to maintain. exercise, not too many unhealthy food etc... last but not least of course, good relationships with the people i think about every now and then, pretty much everyone in my social circle. there's a similarity in all my wants, basically it all leads to a healthy person. healthy thinking, healthy sleeping habits, healthy body, healthy psyche, healthy everything.

right now, i'm not so healthy on the sleeping side... and probably quite messed up somewhere else too. but i'm sure i'll sort this it soon.

Friday, January 28, 2011

TGIF!!! I guess I'm gonna buy a new pair of shoes for this CNY, since I've been using the same old shoes from converse since a few years ago. Probably getting another converse shoes but not the same design of course. Maybe checkered? Maybe striped? I guess my budget should be about 100 bucks. Of course if I could get a rather cheap but durable one, I would. Thinking of getting some jeans too but perhaps I should wait a little while more; just bought 2 pairs of jeans recently.

When it comes to this obligation, of course there will be endless complaints. But this week seemed a bit more relaxed, and according to the rest that were here earlier than me, this is the standard life I would be having in here. I guess the last two weeks were hectic only because of the high-key exercise. I hope that time in here would be fulfilling instead of me idling my time away. Of course I help that there will be a chance for me to learn something that is useful and will definitely benefit me in the time to come. But with what I'm doing now, the chances seem to be slim. Nevertheless, if I am able to apply for a night class that probably involves media studies or some sort related to that, I won't mind. Likewise, if there is a course that might have prospects when I'm released back to the society, I would willingly take it up too.

According to my other unit mates that are going to leave/had left, the time will pass by and soon it'd be our turn to be free once again. The process might be long, but what's most important is actually being able to reach the finishing point. Though the process might be torturing, be it physically or mentally, depending on which unit we are going to spend our time in, being able to finish this journey nonetheless will be satisfying. Besides, it's our "longest break" that we can ever have in our life. Which phase of our life gives us this 22 months or 2 years that totally cut us off the society, rendering us with stress-free life? Of course there are still different kinds of stress, but when it comes to accommodation and food, we'll never be shortchanged in here.

With that, I have about 19 plus more months to go in here, I hope that when the new people come in, my life will start to get better and better. Of course many will say that life in here is excellent already, but humans are never content, and what's the actual definition of "good life"? As long as I'm not deprived of the basic needs, I'm quite sure I'm able to survive in here. As long as there are rewards after tasks, I'm sure anyone would be happy enough to continue moving on.

With that said, I hope that the upcoming year would be a great one. One can never settle with a definite new year resolution, so I won't come up with one. I know myself, I won't follow this resolution and definitely would side-track at any point of time. Most importantly, I must make sure I won't regret not doing certain stuffs this year, and regret the next year.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It's a sunday afternoon and I'm in here. I don't think it's really enjoying at all. Besides, there's nothing to do on a sunday morning in here. There's no one, only the duty personnel, and of course me, a sorry asshole in this place. Okay maybe not a sorry asshole but I'm really looking forward to the weekend. At least I'd spent my time well yesterday, bought 2 shirts, one violet and the other bluish purple. Bought KOI and walked around bugis area. Managed to play house of the dead 4 till the last stage with 3 tokens with nick. I really think that we could have completed it if there wasn't any distortion on the arcade screen.

And I was pondering over this: Our earlier parts of our life may seem shorter because at a young age, there are limited things that we can do in the social world. But when we start to grow up, we're occupied with obligations and we only have the weekends to ourselves. Naturally, most of us would look forward to the weekends to enjoy. But when we look forward to weekends, our week seem to end pretty fast, especially when we're enjoying it. If you were to do this for every week, a month will fly by before you know it. Many of us want to grow up fast, but when we're getting older and older, we start to complain that we're not young anymore and we haven't enjoyed enough.

Looking back to the days when I was in primary and secondary school, I wished very much to age faster to above 16. I wished very much to finish my education phase so that I can start to enjoy 'social life'. In this case, of course, is to be able to be independent and not be tied down to our parents' curfews. After 16, most of us get a lot of freedom. Be it going out till late night, or even staying overnight in any other place except home, many of our parents start to let go of us. It's the time that we deserve after committing ourselves to studies. When I look at myself now, I felt that the past 4 years has flew by rather quickly. I was then a 'kid' in many eyes, but now, there's many things that I've to stand alone. I've learned many things that one way or another helped me along the way. I've learned that the world isn't as beautiful as it seemed to be in the past. Many things seem so nostalgic, even the simplest things like cartoons.

By the time I'm finished with my obligation with the nation, I would be almost 22 years old. Give me a couple years to get my degree and I'll be 24 or 25. Give me a couple of years to stabilize my career and I'll be 27 or 28. Time will pass very fast. Like what my friend said to me, "I can't believe I'll be 30 in less than 10 years...". It's hard to accept that everyone is aging, having to release ourselves from the "having fun" phase and into the "responsible" phase. All these are not emotional but more of realization. Time will pass very fast and I should better make good use of free time that I have. The only thing holding me back from learning more stuffs is my obligation. It all boils down to this obligation, damn it. Till then, I hope I get the most out of this, so at least I won't feel that I've let myself down.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Today might be my favorite day, but i'm not that happy at all. I've just realized that many things in the society are covered up pretty well. People say that after going through this phase, you will become a better person. But why do those people who sign contracts prove me wrong? If this makes you a better person, why do so many of these people who supposedly be the role models of us act this way? Does status really matter that much? So does that mean that i'm a new person, but i do things their way, and still get treated like shit? At least treat me as another human or your subordinate and not treat me like trash? I dun see why these people want to continue their life in that organisation if they don't transform into a better person.

There are many hidden things that are out there and many of us won't know what they are until we experience it ourselves. I used to not believe what other people say, i chose not to believe too. But after experiencing it myself, i found out that things aren't always that simple. It doesn't mean that in every situation, treating the other parties well will bring you any good. There are people who do not appreciate kindness, there are people who prefer being in that small circle and be hostile to everyone else. These are the people who come out to the real world after staying so long in the tiny circle and have a culture shock.

I really hope that next week won't be as tiring as this week. If this continues for another week, i'm afraid i might just screw things up unintentionally. It may seem like a simple job to many, but when it comes to doing it yourself, it's really quite a feat. I used to think that my job would be rather relaxed because i've saw others do it too. But i just realized that if the manpower is really short, even the simplest possible thing you can think of, might strain you out. Just hope my time would pass pretty fast, and I would be able to enjoy the life that i used to have before all these. Of course, there isn't only cons of this. I've learnt how to cherish my weekends and free time more. I've learnt that not everything has a second chance, especially when it comes to this. Everything might seem a little far'fetched but that's because it's a sensitive issue, but i'm quite sure most of us understand what i'm driving at. *winks*

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It's another day in camp and it seems that i won't be able to see my bed any time soon. There is this exercise that i have to support the company with and everyone including my superiors won't be able to rest. It's an once-a-year exercise that is inevitable, at least for me.

Though i wish very much that i am able to smell my room, being in the lecture room beats those that have to endure the exercise that supposedly will stretch till friday early morning. Though i may be bored out in here, every day still has to go on. I may complain about particular days, but we are all here for the same reason-to be free from this responsibilty and obligation, at least for most of us.

Ah well, might as well plan what i'm going to do during my weekends? Oh wait a second, i have to report back to work on sunday for an obliged duty that everyone has to do every now and then. Just my saturday i guess. Hope that i'm able to rest and play well before another hectic week awaits me. Yes, next week will be the same old thing like this weds to fri.

Hmm, of course most importantly i have to play at least a game or two in the arcade. Not forgetting my all-time favorite bubble tea(barber tee), and probably old chang kee's chicken wing or tori-q's tontoro pork. I'm thinking of getting another pouch specially for my wallet and phone and stationery. My almost 10-year-old pouch is tearing apart, wear and tear i guess, age of the pouch matters too.

Alright, i guess this 2 weeks would be a challenge for me. My direct senior told me that if i am able to endure this, the rest of my obliged time in here would seem much easier. What i ask for now is just to be able to spend my every night at home, but this wish seems so bleak.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Vacation Love

Chapter 2

"Err... not really that long lah. Don't be too haughty! You're just an average girl, I mean lady!" Alexius stuttered. In his eyes, though she seems to be older than him by probably 2-3 years, she still seems pretty young and like a beautiful girl.

"Haha! You said girl! I feel so young, I maintain my looks pretty well right?" the lady asked.

"Not really," Alexius said, nonchalantly. He wanted to disturb her a little.

"How can you say that to a lady!" the lady said, a bit irritated.

"Alright alright, you look pretty. You really caught my eye, I have to admit," Alexius said, to please her. He didn't want her to hate him so fast, at least not till he got her phone number or something.

"Are you trying to entertain me or are you telling the truth?!" the lady said. Alexius could tell the stare from the lady was quite intimidating.

"I... I'm really telling the truth! You're really pretty, I swear!" Alexius said, frantically and stuttering. He moved back a little, feeling a bit frightened of this petite but fierce lady.

"Haha! I got you there! You're really cute, especially when you seem so scared of me!" the lady laughed. Alexius was relieved but yet feel cheated a little. But the lady called him cute.

"Hey! I wasn't scared okay, I was just stating the facts. And how can you describe a man with the word cute?" Alexius looked at the lady, he could tell there's a sense of warmth from her brown eyes. She smiled at him as if there aren't any bad things happening in this world.

"Oh yes you are scared! And yes I can, I'm just stating the facts too!" the lady said, blushing a little. Alexius couldn't tell that she was blushing too though, it was quite obvious that both of them are enjoying each other's company.

"Alright, let's drop that subject. Tell me about what you think of death?" Alexius said.

"Death... Never had a very good idea of it. In fact, I can't stop thinking about death, even when I'm on this plane. I wanted to take a train or something, but don't think it's possible to take a train from Singapore to Taiwan, isn't it?" the lady said, her face totally changed when Alexius mentioned about death.

"Oh okay, it's alright if you're uncomfortable," Alexius said, trying to change the topic again.

"No, I want to talk about it, if not, I will feel terrible. I couldn't really talk to anyone about death, people would laugh at me," the lady said.

"Why would anyone laugh at you? Just because you're scared of death?" Alexius asked.

"Yes! There was this friend, she said that I was a coward. I mean, any human would be scared of death right? It's like the end, nothing comes back, nothing left. It's like you're asleep for eternity without any dreams. Even if there are dreams, you're trapped in the dream world forever, and you won't even be sure if it'd be a good dream or a nightmare. Okay I know this is sounding far'fetched..." the lady couldn't stop explaining why she was scared of death.

"No, I find it all logical. But to me, death is just part and parcel of life. I just suddenly talked about it, because I thought of my grandmother. She just passed away a week ago, and I'm going Taiwan to bury her, and have a vacation. She requested me to bury her bones there, she met her first love there..." Alexius said, his nose getting a little stuck.

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure she's a great grandmother, I could even tell that you're crying soon," the lady said.

"I'm not! Definitely not, I'm a strong grandson. I didn't even cry on her deathbed, well, she wouldn't want to see me cry too before she passes away. So I controlled my tears, till after she passed away..." Alexius said, a drip of tear trickled down his cheeks. He immediately turned to his drink and took a sip. He wanted to hide that drip of tear, it just came, without him even being able to control.

"Ah! I saw that," the lady said.

"Saw what? My... My tear?" Alexius said, trying his best to prevent any more tears.

"Haha! You really cried? I was just testing you, I swear I didn't see you cry," the lady teased him.

"What! You tricked me! No really, I didn't cry, your test failed!" Alexius said, not wanting to lose his face to this lady whom he met just two hours ago.

"Anyway, where are you heading to in Taiwan? I'm going to Simending, how about you?" the lady asked.

"Me too! Wanna join me for a while? Oh wait, why are you going to Simending anyway?" Alexius asked.

"Just to chill. I guess it'd be alright for me to join you, since I'm alone too. Have you been to Simending before? It's my first time..." the lady said.

"Simending is like my second home. I've been there many times, especially with my grandmother, but she passed away so... I'm here alone, and to bury her of course," Alexius said, feeling a little sad in his heart. He really missed his grandmother. His next closest kin weren't his parents, but his grandmother. She was like a best friend to Alexius, he could talk about anything to her; her demise was really a heavy blow for Alexius.

"Oh... Don't be too sad, I'll be here to accompany you!" the lady said. Alexius felt warmth in his heart. They continued chatting on and on that they almost lost track of time.

"Passengers onboard, please fasten your seat belts in 10 minutes, we'll be landing in Taiwan, Simending airport soon," the pilot spoke. Time passed really fast, especially with the company of someone whom you have chemistry with. Alexius and his new friend went back to their seats. They smiled at each other as they fastened their seat belts to get ready for the landing of the plane.

Friday, July 17, 2009

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, came back here, decided to write more and play less. since after my usual 5/6pm in school, it's free time for me. gonna try to come up with more interesting stories, with higher tension and suspense, and of course, longer! but not draggy lol.













Vacation love (this story is adapted from a movie i've watched, not very sure what the name is though.)

Chapter 1

Why do people love to watch romantic comedies, be it movies or dramas, though they very well know that the ending is always the same? Well, humans are just like that, love is very important to every human being. It's not a want, but a need for love, this includes everyone. We all desire to be loved, we all desire to feel loved. It's something that makes your mood great and of course, have a feeling of blissfulness.

Do you believe that two strangers can actually like each other within hours? I couldn't believe myself either, but after I've watched this movie, i can be sure it's true. During vacations alone, one tends to be lonely and in need of company, and when someone enters your lonely vacation, affection develop very fast. Let's see what happens in my version of a story, about vacation love.

Alexius is an university graduate but he does not wish to further studies. Thus, he's here now, on this plane, heading to Taiwan for a vacation and a break away from the books that he face every single day. He wanted to try out the business class, or in other words, the first class seats on the airplane.

Alexius looked out of the plane window, admiring the beautiful clouds out in the blue sky. He watched how the plane slice through the clouds gracefully, as if the clouds are like candy floss. It was near sunset, and the sight was magnificent and romantic. If only someone could be beside him right now, preferably a woman, how sweet and mesmerizing it would be, he thought. He turned back to the plane's ceiling television, lost interest in Ice Age 2 within seconds. Ice Age 3 was already in the cinemas, and the business class television is still screening such an old animation movie. He turned to his left, just a few feets away from his single seat, was a lady sleeping. She's very pretty, just that maybe she could be slightly older than him. He decided to admire her beauty for a few more moments, but as he was in this trance, a plump and clumsy man walked past and bumped into the lady.

The lady woke up and stared at the plump man. You could tell that she was fuming with fury just by looking into her eyes. It seems like she would pummel this fat man any time with ease. She couldn't control her anger because the plump man's appearance was already a hindrance to her. If it was Brad Pitt who bumped into her, her expression would be the direct opposite. Alexius was sure that she would have apologized even when Brad Pitt was actually the one who bumped into her.

"Oversized container, which is the reason why so many are left hungry in the third world countries, can you look at where you're walking? Or is your tummy clouding your vision? Is it too huge that you can't see that there's someone sleeping here?" The lady sneered at the fat man. Everyone was shocked and amused at the same time, including the fat man. The latter seems to be frightened and intimidated by this petite lady which has just insulted him badly. He decides not to provoke her further and he apologized and walked away briskly.

Alexius' eyes were nearly open for a whole three minutes, till the fat man walked away. He was shocked that such a pretty and petite lady could spew out such insulting remarks that can shock the whole plane's passengers. However, it still didn't erase that beautiful sleeping face of hers from his mind. As she snuggled back to her seat, and fell asleep briefly after that, he continued to admire her. And before he knew it, he began to like her.

Alexius decided to take a drink at the airplane's mini bar, he unbuckled his safety belt and headed towards his destination. He sat on a seat at a corner, and slowly sipped his cocktail. He was still thinking of the lady that was sleeping soundly on the airplane seat. Just as he was having his second cocktail, a lady sat beside him. As an anti-social lone ranger, he didn't really pay attention to the lady; he was still fantasizing about the sleeping lady, and also reading a lifestyle magazine that was beside him.

"Excuse me sir, can I read that magazine too, if it's fine for you?" the lady asked. Alexius took the magazine and passed to the lady. He turned to her and to his surprise, it's the sleeping beauty!

"Oh sure," Alexius said, calmly. He didn't want to give away about how mesmerized he was with her earlier on. But his head just wouldn't listen to him, he kept turning to her, glanced a while, and turned back to his drink. His heartbeat was increasing, and his calmness slowly faded. He couldn't control himself and he decided to strike a conversation with this pretty but hotheaded lady.

"So, are you alone or are you with your family? Alexius asked, awkwardly.

"I'm alone, how about you? I saw you looking out the airplane window, I guess you're alone and lonely, haha!" the lady sniggered. She turned out to be a friendly person, just that probably if you wake her up while she's sleeping, she wouldn't even care if you were the king of england, she would still scold you.

"Yeah... But about the lonely part, that's not true. I just enjoy looking at how the airplane cuts through the clouds, it really soothes your heart and it's romantic," Alexius said.

"Hmm, I guess so. I would have done that too if I had gotten a window seat. You got the last window seat earlier on at the airport, I was just behind you. Lucky guy!" the lady said again, in a hearty tone. "She was noticing me all this while?" Alexius thought. He feels happy in his heart, but he can't express it, because it'd be awkward if she knew that he had been literally staring at her since she was sleeping till the time he decided to get a drink.

"Haha, maybe because I didn't take as much time as you to dress up at home, maybe it's just that few tens of minutes that made the seat difference!" Alexius joked back.

"No! I bet I can dress up faster than you do, and I don't put on make up. My complexion is 100% natural! But err... maybe... I did put on some foundation and some fake eye lashes, and some blush..." the lady said, and her tone became more and more guilty as she honestly mentioned about her make up. Not many girls can go out of their houses without make up, it's like a boost of self confidence.

"Haha, now do you see? This makes the difference. But well, if you don't mind, I can switch seats with you whenever you feel like looking out of the window," Alexius offered. He knew this would be his chance to get to know this lady better. Afterall, he felt very comfortable engaging a conversation with this pretty lady, who were just like other girls who put on make up to boost their self confidence.

"Really? If that is so, I will! But are you sure you want to go back to the boring seats now? It's really tiring to sit there for the next few hours, and it's quite hard to sleep, and just when I managed to fall asleep, a fat man woke me up!" the lady complained.

"Oh okay, we can stay here to chat for a while more. There's plenty of time anyway. Are you sure it's hard to fall asleep? I noticed you very long and I saw you fall asleep almost imme..." Alexius stopped. Did he just gave away that he looked at her for a very long time? He was praying in his heart that she wouldn't pay much attention to what he said. But he was wrong.

"You looked at me for very long? I know I'm pretty lah, but don't stare at me like that, I'll be shy, haha!" the lady joked. Alexius heaved a sigh of relief, he guessed that she enjoyed chatting with him too. If it would be any other girl, she would definitely think that Alexius is a big pervert staring at her for so long.

...to be continued ;D

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

what's the most precious to you in your life? i guess, no one will ever know theirs. because you'll only know what's most precious to you only when you lose it.

Monday, December 22, 2008

watching romance movies when you're down, be it sad romance or comedy romance, makes you feel like crying. lol.

Friday, December 19, 2008

it's been so long since i last blogged. well, mainly because i have no mood to blog at all. and one of the other reasons are that i have work to do, and i'm lazy to log in to type. i guess i'll stop my stories here. you need mood and inspiration to think of stories right? short stories i'm able to think of won't be much entertaining anyway. anyway this post will just be some of my feelings for this whole while, doubt anyone will read till the end anyway haha.

i watched 200 pounds of beauty yesterday, i know it's kinda slow, this movie was screened two years ago. but it made me change the opinion of people who undergone plastic/cosmetic surgery. some people really dun have the choice, and some, they do it for someone they love. i used to think plastic/cosmetic surgery are for the vain pots, cos they want to change their face and body to something they're not capable of achieving. i despise such people, and as such, micheal jackson might be an example, but i'm NOT very sure about this though haha.

anyway, 200 pounds of beauty is really touching, and i simply love the story line. it's a korean movie though, with english subs. i like how the story writer crafted his plot and his climaxes. at some point there is some humor and comedy injected, and at the same time, still captures the sympathy of the audience. i feel this is very important for a comedy drama movie. he did it very well, and of course, with the help of excellent actors and actresses, the result is astounding. it's no wonder this movie won prizes, and the main female lead, kim ah-joong, a south-korean, of coruse won the best female actress award in 2006. i have to admit, i take my hat off her. she can get the feeling of someone who was obese and loved a person from far, and making so many drastic changes at the expense of herself just for that person. her expressions and feelings into this movie really touched my heart. this movie is really one of the best comedy drama movie i've ever watched. some are really just trash, but this isn't.

kim ah-joong really grabbed the role of the female lead in the movie. she nailed it and did a wonderful job. her voice is also angelic and it made my hair stand, this i gotta admit. i used to hate the song ave maria, because i find it irritating and the singer kept hitting the high notes almost at every verse. but after i watched this movie, i love the song, as well as Star(Byul), by kim ah-joong of course.

well, the point i'm trying to bring across is, it's never a crime to be fat and ugly, as long as your heart is kind. if you're good looking and all, but your heart is evil, it doesn't make a difference. of course what's worst is that a person is fat, ugly and has an evil heart. for guys out there, imagine a fat girl likes you, and you know it. but you dun really like her because of her appearance. she disappears and made a full body makeover, just for you. she even undergone plastic surgery just for you, would you accept her? she dun even care about how the hurt you brought to her old self, but she wants you to accept her new self-a pretty and elegant lady with a very good figure, but of course, is artificial.

i agree what the male lead and female lead said in the movie: plastic surgery is fine, but never on the guy's girl. typical men would say this, of course, because artificially modified women are definitely very good looking, but afterall, their breasts might have silicon, their facial features might be fake, and maybe even went for liposuction. good to see, bad to touch, for most men. girls would say all men are the same, so why go for plastic surgery? it's so damn stupid! but what you know, some girls still undergo plastic surgery JUST for the guys they love, despite of what they said. why? because of love. the guy might say the girl is a monster, but didn't the guy think of himself? ain't he a monster for not accepting someone who love him so much that she went to the expense of herself, undergoing such painful surgery? ha, here's the point. and below is the outline of the movie.

kim ah-joong played the role of kang hanna, an obese girl who was never good in anything. mainly because of her obesity and clumsiness. she was only good at one thing, singing. she was a part time phone sex employee too, because of her angelic voice. she also sang for ammy, a famous korean pop singer, who ironically, can't sing. what hanna does is that she sing in the backstage for ammy, while ammy does her sexy dance on stage, and of course lip syncs to the lyrics. hanna liked this guy very much, because he treated her exceptionally well, despite her obesity and appearance. this guy, sang-jun, is the music producer for ammy, and also the employer of hanna.

one day, ammy humilated hanna in sang-jun's birthday party by wearing the same dress as hanna. of course, in attempt to showcase her figure and to compare herself to hanna. embarassed and sad, hanna went to the bathroom to cry. unfortunately, she overheard the conversation between ammy and sang-jun. they said that they were using hanna to help ammy gain fame, and that they have to treat her well, lest hanna walks out on their company. Heartbroken, Han-na attempts suicide but is interrupted by a phone call from one of her phone sex regulars who happens to be a top cosmetic surgeon. She decides to get a head-to-toe makeover instead. The surgeon at first refuses to operate on Han-na, but Han-na threatens to blackmail the surgeon by telling his wife about his calls. Then, Han-na makes a moving speech that she does not want to undergo surgery merely to be beautiful, but for the sake of love and as a boost in confidence, and the surgeon is deeply moved. Han-na puts herself in seclusion for a year as she recovers from the changes.

When she comes back from the hospital, Han-na is incredibly beautiful and slender. No one, not even her best friend, Chung-min, recognizes her. With Chung-min's help, she creates a new identity for herself; she is now a Korean-American from California named Jenny. After auditioning to be Ammy's secret vocalist again, she earns her own recording contract instead from Sang-jun, claiming that she is "all-natural". In the meantime, Ammy, oblivious just like everyone else of Han-na's new identity, desperately tries to find Han-na so that she can record her own postponed album (since she cannot sing the songs herself) by spending time with Hanna's father who is in a hospital with some mental problems, possibly Alzheimer's. Meanwhile, romance begins to blossom between "Jenny" and Sang-Jun, as he continues to promote Jenny, in effect boosting Hanna's confidence on her new self. However, Ammy, through spending time with Han-na's father and Jenny, eventually realizes that this Jenny is actually Han-na in disguise.

During a date one night, as sparks fly, Jenny supposedly stripped for Sang-Jun in the character of a nurse, through a phone sex session. (not shown on camera, of course) After Jenny has fallen asleep, he sees the African character Jenny had drawn on the glass and realizes it was a sign he had seen before. He remembers that when Han-na still existed and he had not met "Jenny" yet, Han-na had drawn the exact same signs on a sheet of music. Then he adds all of the signs up and realizes as well that "Jenny" is actually Kang Han-na but he keeps this information to himself.

"Jenny's" debut single 'Maria' becomes a hit and the recording company holds a party to celebrate its release. On the day of a party however, Ammy brings "Jenny's" father, in an attempt to blow Han-na's cover. Han-na's father tries to return Han-na's Barbie doll to her, which has always been Han-na's favourite childhood gift from him. Startled by the sudden appearance of her father and not knowing how to react in front of all the people, including Sang-jun, Han-na denies knowing her father and calls him a fan instead when Sang-jun asks her if the old man is her guest. As her father keeps on insisting on giving the doll to Han-na, Sang-jun drags him away from Jenny and accidentally knocks him down onto the floor. Desperate to keep her true identity a secret, Han-na made no move to help her father. It was Chung-min who finally helps him up, casts Jenny a furious look and leads Hanna's father away from the party.

After the party, Sang-jun and 'Jenny' were the only ones left in the room. Sang-jun reveals to 'Jenny' that he knows her true identity but is now cold and distant. He seems to be unable to forgive her for lying to him but says that he will still work to promote 'Jenny' and carry on with her concert scheduled the next day. Han-na breaks down at this point, heartbroken and unable to pretend to be someone else anymore. Han-na tells him that it is incredibly frustrating and painful not being able to be just be herself but have to live a lie, especially in front of him. The surgery that took a whole year to recover from was not nearly as painful as realizing that she still could not be close to Sang-jun. As Sang-jun tries to comfort her, she brushed away his efforts saying, "You broke my heart. Tissue paper cannot fix it."

The day of "Jenny's" first concert, Sang-jun still insisted on continuing Jenny's concert, despite his father's protests. Later, he encourages a distraught Jenny to do this concert, not for the sake of the fans or the company but for herself, thus implying that he has forgiven her and will continue to support her. At the concert, Jenny couldn't sing and later breaks down from the pressure of seeing her father being dragged away by security and tells everybody to stop. She then reveals to the public that Jenny is a "fake," and that she is not "all-natural", as she had claimed, but is "plastic". However, nobody seems to believe her. She proceeds tearfully to tell the large crowd her story: how she has abandoned everything that is dear to her - her best friend and father - to get to where she is. She also tells the crowd about how along the way to fame and fortune she has also lost her own identity and that she now no longer knows who she is. Just then, the screens behind her on the stage started to show a clip of the old, obese Han-na, singing angelically. Han-na turns around and sees her old image and tells the crowd that the image is the real her. The crowd, moved by her sincere confession, responds by chanting "It's okay," and Han-na rekindles her relationships with her father and best friend. She drops the stage name "Jenny" and re-releases a CD with her own name, Hanna, and becomes a highly successful music artist, gaining many anti-fans as well as loyal fans along the way. Sang-jun realizes the very thing about Han-na that had always drawn him to her was Han-na's innocence. However he also realizes that she has moved on and is now content with who she is, that he has lost his chance to be with her, but carries on being her manager as her career goes from strength to strength. (a sort of happy ending, but not a typically cliche' western perfect happy ending)

the main point of this story is that, we must cherish our loved ones. of course this quite old, i've been making posts about this. but it's really very important. when it's too late to regret, you will know how dear the person is to you. as life passes, the people you know and get along with decreases gradually. slowly, you'll be left alone. your parents will leave you one day, to the nether world. if you're lucky, you might have your siblings living with you, but that usually won't be the case. you're on your own. if you dun have a soulmate, life will be lonely. it's very important for everyone to have a soulmate, someone you can depend on when you're down in the dumps. a shoulder to lean on, whether is it your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband, wife or fiancé. what matters most in this world is relationships, kinships, friendships. but what ultimately will be by your side is your soulmate. even if you have children, one day, they will leave you to be with their own family, maybe paying visits to you regularly. but ultimately, the person that will be with you for life, is your soulmate. the person who will share your sorrows and happiness.

it's never too late to realize that you've been not very good to your girlfriend or boyfriend, as long as both of you are still together and in love. when both of you separate, it might just be the end. in some cases, might not, but still, scars will still be present. you dun want to lose the person you love and regret it. you dun want to one day see the person you used to be with on the streets, and you still love him or her. when both of you talk, he or she confesses that you're the person he or she loved most, but did not cherish his or her chance given to you. now, he or she is with a person he dun love as much as he loved you, but that person, cherishes him. everyone is given a chance, some given many chances. but when the last chance is used up, everything falls, everything ends. never wait for the last chance to be used up before realizing how much you need that person. it'd just be too late, too late for any amendments. like what the female lead in 200 pounds of beauty said, you broke my heart, tissue won't fix it, i guess, nothing can ever fix a broken heart. even something might work, but the scar would always be there, never gonna disappear, never gonna recover.

i believe i'm a big failure in love relationships. i never seem to get it anyway, ha. i believe my love life is in a big mess and chaos, whether is it in the past, the present, or maybe in the future. it's something nothing can ever fix or help, i guess. ha, maybe it's just me. well, i dun know. just gonna cross the bridge when it comes to me, just gonna let nature takes its course. still, i feel that i'm a failure in love, and my love life is a big mess, ha.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

look at this, stupidity takes to a whole new level.

the first part is my reply, and the second part is the junk mail sent to me.

---

If you're so sure that you're an anti-fraud unit, why are there so many mistakes in the mail? Please check your spelling before issuing such rubbish mails. If you're some really important person in some really important company or some sort, you would have checked up properly. In the first place, I don't even have a bank account on my own, I'm too young to own one. So if you think by issuing such useless and obvious FRAUD mails you can cheat people online, then you're wrong. Even if you were to think that you're DAMN smart or shrewd, at least check your english. You can't even spell 'definitely' and this phrase, "because of it's realistic value", unfortunately, the corrected phrase would be, "because of its realistic value". Oh come on, even I can correct your english, you should do some reflections on your language before trying to scam someone online. I can easily pinpoint out your mistakes and you should be very guilty about this, since you, being a so-called very 'SHREWD' online scammer, can't even correct your own language. Shame on you.

Next thing that is very obvious of all these being a scam: your reply email address. Would an "ANTI-FRAUD-UNIT" judge or some sort have such an ordinary email? Wouldn't his email be something like icpc.nig01@someimportantorganisation.com? Before even trying to scam, jolly well do some homework on email addresses too. If you think you can scam just ANYONE on the net, then you're very wrong. Not everyone is as dense and retarded as you are. And for your information, I'm not from the USA, I'm in Asia. And no, I don't have any inheritance funds. If you're an official, you would definitely include a note below indicating that this is a very important mail and if it's sent to the wrong email, please send back to the sender. Unfortunately, you didn't, and that's one of the largest mistake you've made. Another point, your mail landed in the JUNK mail folder, so, that's just TOUGH for you. Anyway, nice try.

----------------------------------------------------

ICPC NIGERIA (Anti-Fraud Unit)
(lol at ~>).......we fight against fraud, funds delay and impersonation.
Head Office: Plot 802, Constitution Avenue
Zone A9 Central Area
P. M.B 535, Garki Abuja
*****24HRS SERVICE *****

Dear Sir/Madam,

LETTER OF COMPENSATION/SETTLEMENT.

This letter will definately be amazing to you because of it’s realistic value.

Sorry for the inconveniences that was rendered to you in your line of Inheritance Payment transaction with some impersonators some while ago.

I know that this letter will hit you by surprise, but firstly I will like to introduce myself; I am (Justice Emmanuel Ayoola) the Legal chairman of "ICPC", (Nigeria's Anti-Fraud Unit).

On the 1st of October 2000, the President of The Federal Republic of Nigeria (Chief Olusegun Obasanjo) introduced a Commission named the "ICPC", (Nigeria's Anti-Fraud Unit) which is duly registered under the United Nations (U.N.O). This particular Commission was initiated to detect fraud/funds delay/impersonation of Government Officials. Secondly, we are mandated by the US Government to Settle foreign debts/fraud victims/Un-paid beneficiaries to satisfactory in other to maintain peace in the world at large and also to create a good relationship with the international bodies.

Presently, we are being paid by the American government inother to avert beneficiary funds delays/fraud here in Nigeria.

So far, we have settled the likes of (Mrs. Debbie Hargrove, Mr. Micheal Wagner etc).
You are being contacted by this office today dated (27th August 2008) because your Case File (A) is the very first File on our Settlement Files Cabinet. From our Intelligent investigations and Probing processes we discovered that you are a victim of fraud/funds delay.

The "ICPC", is faithfully under my governance as the Legal Chairman of the great Commission and to this Authority I took an oath of allegiance to settle all fraud victims peacefully.

This Memorandum is to notify you that you will be settled by the Nigerian Government from our initial Deposit Account with HSBC Bank Plc London-Uk. You will be settled with the actual amount which you lost in your previous transaction, including your Inheritance Funds.

Your settlement will be actualized within 3working days after your response to this Official Letter.

For further clearification/investigation kindly send the below informations to us immediately: ( nig.icpc01@googlemail.com )

1. Your residential address.
2. Mobile and fax number (for regular official contact).
3. Your inheritance funds value.
4. Amount which you have lost previously.

These above-mentioned informations will officially enable us to carry out our verification processes and after that your compensation sum/Inheritance Funds will be Electronically wired into your designated Bank account.

Your immediate compliance to this will expedite actions on your Payment because here in this office, we have alot of listed victims to be settled.

Officially Signed,
Justice Emmanuel Ayoola.
Chairman ICPC Nigeria.
TEL: +234 80 73 81 45 02
nig.icpc11@googlemail.com

Powered by Information Communication Technology Dept., (C) 2008 ICPC Nigeria, registered trade

Friday, October 31, 2008

Dear readers, if it's possible, help me publicize my blog to your friends and families. I really hope for more supporters and readers, giving me comments and criticisms. Appreciate it if more readers come. Oh ya, anyone can intro me primary students looking for tutors? Ranging from primary 3 to 6 bah. I'm a polytechnic student and possess an GCE O'Level Certificate. Preferably students near Sengkang. Those living in Hougang, Punggol, Serangoon, all these areas that are near Sengkang.

And behold, iPhone users.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNDg4MTc1NzY=.html

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Bounty Hunter

(Note: This is definitely fictional and non-local type of story)

Chapter 1

Most of us are born in a complete family. We have a mother, father, maybe some siblings, and even a pet dog or cat. However, there are the minorities where they grow up in broken families, or even by themselves. Jack lost his father at a mere age of four. He cried his lungs out, even though he only spent four years with the latter, he doted on him very much. His father even protected him from his mother at times, when she loses her temper and vents her anger on Jack. Calamitously, his beloved father passed away because of lung cancer. He was a heavy smoker, but whenever Jack asked if smoking was any good, he would strongly advise him not to start. After Jack's father died, his mother remarried for four times. When Jack was eight years old, he was nearly abused to death. Thankfully, his neighbors rescued him, and his step father was imprisoned. He was sent to an orphanage so as to escape the evil clutches of his mother. Half a year later, his mother was murdered by her creditors because she indulged in heavy gambling.

Jack decided to leave the orphanage and survive on his own. He wanted to be a successful man in the future and not follow the footsteps of his wretched mother, and her husbands. And, this story is Jack's life story, how he slowly became successful in many ways. Of course, eventually he settled down in the country side with his loved one, Jill. So, the story commences...

---

"Jack, are you sure you can earn a living at nine?" the orphanage's sister, Mary, a priestess asked, feeling very worried for Jack. She frowned as she looked at the prideful boy, Jack.

"Yes, I'm sure. I want to make my dad feel proud, even when he's in the nether world. I know he'll watch over me in the heavens, right?" Jack asked Mary, his eyes full of energy. No one could change his decision at this point of time, even his closest guardian, Mary. He knew that he didn't have to worry about his mother anymore, since she's already dead. He stayed at the orphanage because he was afraid that his mother would find him and probably kill him for asking help from their neighbors. Of coruse, she blamed Jack for landing the former's husband in jail.

"I guess so... If your father is still around, I'm sure he'll be very proud of you," Mary said. She knew that whatever she said could not stop Jack. Besides, he learned quite a lot about how to protect himself in the orphanage.

"Alright! See ya, Sister Mary. I'll come back to visit you when I have time!" Jack said, as he walked out of the orphanage...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Always in my mind

Chapter 17 (Finale)

"Wait... No! I can't die now. I want to be with Elaine, I can't leave her. I can't let her lose me when she waited so long for me, I will be letting her down, and myself down..." Derrick thought in his head. But he could already feel his body feeling lighter, it was as if he was about to disappear.

"Derrick! Hang in there! Don't leave me! I love you!!!" Elaine sobbed and sobbed, she held Derrick's hands tightly. Her heartbeat was racing and she was very scared of losing Derrick. She looked at Derrick as his blood continued to ooze out of his wound. The wound was very deep and she could tell that Derrick was suffering from intense pain. She couldn't do anything, she could only watch how Derrick suffered. Only the first aiders and doctors at the hospital can save him, if he could survive till the hospital that is.

Events that happened in Derrick's life flashed past his mind. He could tell that his time was almost up. His last wish was to tell Elaine how he really feels for her. At least, that could be his last present to Elaine.

"Elaine..." Derrick muttered.

"Yes? Yes Derrick?" Elaine asked, frantically gasping for air.

"I got things to tell you..." Derrick said, his lips were dry and pale, his eyes were barely opened.

"Tell me when you get well, don't talk much now," Elaine said, his hands wrapping around Derrick's right. His hand was icy cold, and there were hardly any warmth in his hand.

"No. I understand my own body, my time is almost up," Derrick said, trying his best and to surge every of his last strength to his voice box.

"No! You won't leave me Derrick... Derrick..." Elaine weeped, as she put her head on Derrick's chest.

"Elaine, you're a very good girl, I believe that you can find another better guy than me... I really love you a lot, but since death is going to part the both of us, it's better for you to slowly forget me. I really thought I could grow old with you, and also take care of you, fulfilling your wish. But it seems that luck isn't on my side, as well as yours. You have to promise me that you would live on... Lastly, I've never regretted loving you, and I can say that you're the best girl that I've met in my entire life," Derrick finished his sentence, and his eyes slowly closed. Elaine could not feel any strength left in his hand, as Derrick's head tilted towards her.

"DERRICK!!!" Elaine shouted. The ambulance finally arrived at the hospital and the first aiders got Derrick into the emergency room within a minute. The emergency room door closed, as the sign lit up.

---

"Derrick... It's been three years now. I really had the urge to kill myself then. Luckily, I remembered what you said while we were on the ambulance," Elaine said, as the cool wind brushed across her long, silky hair. She sighed.

"I've never regretted loving you either, though there were many hardships and sufferings involved. Actually, I wasn't really sure what made me kept going on for you, maybe it's the power of love?" Elaine smiled. She started singing 远走高飞.

"Do you still remember this song? I hope you do," Elaine said, as she stood up. She looked up into the sky, the weather was great. Partially cloudy, and the sun wasn't that glaring. The cool breeze could even make one sleep on the grass. She looked down, as she placed a bouquet of flowers on Derrick's tombstone.

"True love never ends, you'll always be in my heart, Derrick," Elaine said, as she bowed.

"Elaine! Are you done?" Elaine's friend, Theresa asked.

"Alright, I'm done. Was my singing great?" Elaine asked, confidently.

"Yeah sure, you know, you should join superstar or something," Theresa teased.

"Haha! I would, if I'm 5 years younger," Elaine joked.

"Anyway, have you ever thought of having a boyfriend? I could introduce you to some cute guys!" Theresa asked, cheekily.

"Hmm... I'm not so sure, but most probably, no. Maybe I still need time to forget Derrick," Elaine said, as she looked into the sky.

"Oh alright, if you wish," Theresa said, as they left...

...after 5 years, Elaine got married with a japanese man. Although she was married, but she was sure that her husband wasn't the man she loved most, but she was contented. We will never know if the person we end up with, is the person we love most or not. Some of us do have that privilege, but some of us, unfortunately don't. So we have to cherish everyone around us, not to regret only after we've lost that important person. We're never sure if that person is that important to us, but as long as we realize how much we can't do without the person, start to cherish. Start by cherishing your important people in your life at this moment.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

something fun.

Answer honestly.EIGHT Lasts.
1. Last alcohol u had:
forgot
2. Last beverage:
a very splendid and rejuvenating drink, H20, water!
3. Last phone call:
classmate
4. Last text message:
dad
5. Last song played:
天使忌妒的生活
6. Last icecream:
some vanilla flavor thing
7. Last time you cried:
not gonna disclose
8. Last meal:
homemade noodles
EIGHT Have You’s.
1. Have you ever dated someone ur bestfriend likes?
never
2. Have you ever been cheated on?
not really
3. Have you ever bought condoms?
never
4. Is there one person who can make you feel better no matter what?
hmm, not sure
5. Do you find yourself crushing on someone currently?
lol
6. Have you ever lost someone?
positive
7. Have you ever been depressed?
definitely
8. Do you smile at strangers?
depends
RANDOM:
1. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
fluctuates
2. what is your pet's name?
don't own any
3. How many people have you kissed in 2008?
not gonna disclose
4. Were you happy when you woke up today?
lots of thoughts in my mind, don't think i was that happy
5. What is a fact about the last person who texted you?
he's blood related to me
6. Do you hate the last person you kissed?
never
7. What are you listening to right now?
天使忌妒的生活
8. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
yeah
9. What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?
dust, and maybe your corpse
10. Last night you felt...
crap
11. Who are all the people you have text messages from in your phone?
lol? not gonna list all
12. Ever been kissed in a car?
never
13. You're being extremely quiet, what does it mean?
deep in thoughts
14. Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?
lol? kiss of death?
15. Last time you laughed?
in school
16. Do you regret anything from your past?
everyone have regrets, it's inevitable in life
17. If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
never, too tiring
18. Do you bump into someones arm if you want to hold their hand?
no? that's such a wuss
19. Last argument?
probably yesterday
20. Plans for saturday?
cut and dye my hair
21. Excited for anything?
yeah, your death and probably FYP
22. Last time you were confused?
few seconds ago while answering this question
23. Do you like to cuddle?
when it's terribly cold
24. Do you hate when people smoke around you?
ahbor
25. Who was the last girl you talked to?
classmates?
26. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
lol, i'm at home, who can i possibly talk to?
27. Do you have any plans for today?
yeah, i've completed chapter 16
29. Do you think best friends can be replaced?
never, everyone is unique in their own way, humans are irreplaceable
30. Do you plan on moving out next?
not really, till i get a steady income
31. Are you 18?
not yet, but in a month's time
32. Does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you?
i just held hands with myself
33. Whats the closest thing to you thats liquid?
that's* hmm, blood maybe? or water
34. What did you do last night, with who?
i used the computer, with probably my mouse and keyboard?

Always in my mind

Chapter 16

Elaine cried in Derrick's steady arms, and they hugged for almost ten minutes. The rain drops splattered on the hospital ward's windows, some occasional claps of thunder could be heard, but this did not scare Elaine at all; she was safe in Derrick's arms, the man that she liked all this while. The whole world seemed to freeze at that moment, even if the hospital were to blaze in merciless flames, they would not even budge; nothing else matters, nothing. As their respective heartbeats start to regulate normally, their hugs loosen and they looked each other in the eyes. Derrick saw tears and relief, while Elaine saw faith and trust. Soon, their lips get closer, and they closed their eyes, and kissed. As they loosen up and cuddled in each other's arms, they looked out the window, and enjoyed the nice, cool weather.

---

"Mum! Dad! I'm so happy to finally come home," Derrick said to his parents as he unlocked his parent's house front door; he had been living by himself and made only occasional visits to his parents. Finally, after a few days, Derrick could be discharged from the hospital.

"Derrick! So good to see you at home again, you've haven't been in this old house for almost half a year! Oh, and hi Elaine, mind joining us for dinner later?" Derrick's mother offered.

"Uh, sure auntie," Elaine replied, blushing a little. Derrick's arms were wrapping around her waist.

"Ah, I see you've got her, Derrick!" Derrick's father teased.

"Dad! She's shy you know, stop teasing us," Derrick protected Elaine from the embarassment.

"It's okay, we've to face your parents sooner or later!" Elaine said, trying to loosen up the atmosphere.

"Yeah, and soon, we'll be your parents too!" Derrick's mother said.

"Alright mum, I'll just show her around your house," Derrick excused themselves and into his room. Derrick closed the bedroom door and hugged Elaine's waist and kissed her on the lips. (The rest don't need to elaborate.)

---

Derrick and Elaine decided to take a stroll in the park after dinner, and also enjoy the magnificent night scene; there was a full moon.

"Derrick, you know something?" Elaine asked, as she cuddled herself into Derrick's arms.

"Not really, unless you tell me about it," Derrick joked.

"Every night I would think of you, but now, not anymore," Elaine said.

"Huh, why?" Derrick asked, puzzled.

"Because I have you by my side, that's why I won't be thinking of anything, including you, because there's your presence," Elaine said, as she kissed Derrick's cheeks.

"Oh... I thought you fell for another guy, haha!" Derrick joked.

"Oh come on, I'm not like your other girlfriends..." Elaine said.

"Haha, that's for sure. Don't talk about them, I love you now," Derrick assured Elaine.

"Derrick. I'm really glad that I can be with you, but are you happy?" Elaine asked.

"Of course I'm happy, my girlfriend loves me so much, and did so many things for me, of course I'm happy!" Derrick said, in a very cheery tone.

"Glad to hear that..." Elaine said. They looked into the blue, night sky. It's clear, without much clouds, and some stars could be seen. The moon, of course, is glowing with the stars scattered around it. The night breeze rustled the leaves and the constant blinking of the stars slowly made Elaine's eyelids heavy, and she slowly, entered a sweet slumber.

---

"What are you doing here? Haven't you cheat my savings? What do you want now?" Elaine heard a strong voice ranting, and she woke up, irritated. But her irritation did not last when she saw Derrick quarreling with a woman, Denise.

"Oh, so now you've got a new girlfriend huh. Give me some money, or I'll injure her!" Denise threatened, as she drew a penknife.

"Leave her alone!" Derrick shouted at Denise, as he rushed to stop Denise.

"STOP!" Elaine shouted. Suddenly, Denise broke free of Derrick's arms because he did not use his full strength. In a fit of anger, Denise stabbed Derrick several times in the abdomen.

"GET LOST BITCH! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING! STOP!!!" Elaine shouted, as she pushed Denise.

"You're the BITCH!" Denise said, as she pushed Elaine with all her might. Elaine fell to the floor, her head hit the side of the bench, and her vision was slightly blurred. As she was recovering from the fall, she turned around and saw Derrick shielding her. Before she could say anything, Denise suddenly stabbed Derrick in the left chest area.

"DERRICK!" Elaine screamed, as she grabbed Derrick. His shirt was drenched in blood. Denise was shocked, and fled, leaving the penknife at the crime scene. But before she could flee, suddenly two policemen handcuffed her.

"DERRICK! DON'T DIE ON ME! DON'T LEAVE ME! WE STILL HAVE A LONG WAY AHEAD, AND MARRIAGE, AND OUR KID!" Elaine screamed and screamed. Derrick was gasping for air, and his body temperature gradually decreased. His face became pale and his lips were dry. Denise hit his vital point, which is his heart.

"Elaine... I love you..." Derrick muttered, as his vision slowly blurred... All he could hear was Elaine's weeping, and droplets of tears soaked his face...

stay tuned, next will be the finale.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Always in the mind

Chapter 15

"Err, auntie and uncle, don't worry, Derrick is in good hands," Elaine assured Derrick's parents.

"Alright, if you're the one taking care of him, our minds would be at ease," Derrick's mum replied, in a very appreciative tone. They left shortly after putting down some fruits and a container of fish porridge.

"Okay, Derrick, I'll be your personal 'nurse' from now on. You have to listen to everything I say till you recover from your injuries, alright?" Elaine said, with a tad of domineering tone. She had to, because Derrick's condition wasn't stable yet, his injuries were still recovering. If he were to have another fall, he might be disabled in one of his limbs. Lucky for Elaine, he was back to normal and not in a delirious state.

"Of course! Mam!" Derrick replied.

"What did you call me?! I dare you to say again," Elaine said, as she folded her arms.

"Again," Derrick replied, giggling.

"I mean I dare you to say what you said just now," Elaine said, as she fidgeted, finding Derrick still a little childish.

"Haha! Okay, I shall not call you names, but you have to make sure I get a speedy recovery!" Derrick requested, as he decided not to continue his teasing.

"I will, as long as you listen to me. I might be a little naggy, but it's all for your own good, at some point of time, you might say I'm like your-" Elaine could not finish her sentence.

"Mum," Derrick helped Elaine finish her sentence.

"Right. You must know your condition, just one more fall before you recover, and you're going to be disabled for life, probably wheelchair bound. And of course... You have to recover from your psychological damage," Elaine said, in a very solemn tone. Derrick had to know about his condition, he might suffer from depression if he kept brooding over his past. Although it's easier said than done, he had to move on with his life, he had to move forward, and not be trapped in his own maze.

"About the psychological part... If you were me, would you be able to forget so easily?" Derrick shot back at Elaine. She couldn't answer him, her heart was stuck to Derrick herself.

"That's why there's-" Elaine cut herself off.

"There's who?" Derrick asked.

"Me, your friends and your family," Elaine continued.

"Yeah..." Derrick replied, with some disappointment. There was a short moment of silence between the two, for some reason.

"Don't worry! You'll get over it right? You're Derrick!" Elaine broke the silence with a cheery tone, and patted Derrick's back.

"Hope so... You'll be here right?" Derrick replied in a soft and relieved voice, blushing a little.

---

It has been a month now. Derrick's injuries had almost recovered. It was a full moon, Derrick and Elaine were sitting on a bench in the hospital premises. It was just three days away to Derrick's discharge date. There was a long silence in the atmosphere, all could be seen were just the both of them admiring the moon. Suddenly, Derrick hymned a tune. It was Derrick's favorite love song: 远走高飞

"This sounds very familiar..." Elaine said, as she harked the tune.

"Ah! 远走高飞. Right?" Elaine exclaimed, gratifiedly.

"Yes. You do have a good memory don't you?" Derrick complimented. His heartbeat was surging.

"Of course! I remembered everything-" Elaine stopped for a moment.

"-that anyone says to me!" Elaine continued.

"Oh..." Derrick replied, his heart was almost at his mouth, for some reason.

"I wonder... If you would remember what I say today-" Derrick was interrupted by a sudden clap of thunder. The clouds were slowly darkening and there were signs of a heavy thunderstorm.

"I guess that means we gotta get back to the ward," Elaine said, as she smiled and Derrick and left her seat. They walked briskly towards shelter as rain started to pour.

"Err Elaine, as I was saying..." Derrick tried to finish what he wanted to say, as they walked towards Derrick's ward.

"Uh huh? Why are you stuttering? Are you a man or a mouse? What do you have to say," Elaine asked, slightly irritated by Derrick's weird behavior.

"I said that I wonder if you would remember what I say today right?" Derrick said, as he opened the ward's door.

"Yeah, so start talking already," Elaine replied.

"Well..." Derrick said, as he sat on his bed.

"Uh?" Elaine asked. Somehow the words were stuck at Derrick's throat. He tried with all his might. Suddenly, there was another clap of thunder, this time it was deafening.

"AH!" Elaine shouted, as she jumped.

"I LIKE YOU," Derrick was shocked by the sudden clap of thunder, too. Before Derrick knew it, Elaine was in his arms. She stopped for a long time, her heartbeat was surging, too.

"Uh... Elaine?" Derrick asked, trying to cope with his racing heartbeat.

"Did I hear wrongly? You like me?" Elaine asked.

"Yes. I like you, Elaine. I thought that you were a great friend, but during my darkest periods, you were there with me, regardless how much hardship you went through. Especially when I was in my hysterical state, I'm sure you had a very hard time. I really like you, Elaine," Derrick finished his sentence, as his heartbeat slowly went back to normal.

"I like you too, Derrick. Really, I like you too!" Elaine said, as tears of joy trickled down her sleek cheeks. Her perseverence had paid off...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Always in my mind

Chapter 14

Derrick was focusing on getting his hands on the butter prawns, he didn't really give a damn about Elaine. The latter was thinking very hard, she wasn't sure what questions she could pop to him that would greatly stimulate his brain, and hopefully letting him remember some of his past. Something struck Elaine, but she thought this would be her last resort, if really nothing could stimulate Derrick's brain, she have to use it.

"Okay Derrick, can you tell me what did you work as a few months ago?" Elaine asked Derrick.

"Err... Err... In an office?" Derrick replied.

"Hmm, which office?" Elaine asked.

"Err... Err... Can I have one butter prawn first? It may stimu..." Derrick couldn't finish his sentence.

"NO! Answer me first, your answer is too vague," Elaine interrupted Derrick's request.

"Hey! Look! The queue's shortened, BYE!" Derrick said, as he rushed to one of the vendors. When he stood up, he was stopped by a very strong force. Elaine pulled his arm so hard that it hurt.

"FINE! DO YOU REMEMBER DENISE? DO YOU REMEMBER BETTY?" Elaine shouted at Derrick. The latter stared at Elaine, suddenly his eyes turned a little bloodshot. He fell to the table and pounding his head.

"AHH!!! AHH!!!" Derrick shouted. Strings of painful memories entered his mind. The mention of Betty was painful enough, not to mention Denise, who hurt him more than Betty. For Derrick's case, it was more of a self-inflicted amnesia. Somehow, he forced himself to forget about the painful memories he had, in other words, he wanted to erase his present and some of his past. But after Elaine mentioned Denise and Betty, the memories rushed back into his mind. Every single event and incident, came back to him. Betty looked at the terrified Derrick, deep down in her heart, she was hating herself to say that. But there was no other way, but to use this last resort. Derrick can't continue being a small kid when he's in his mid twenties, he still have a long way to go.

"Derrick! Get a hold of yourself!" Elaine exclaimed, she held Derrick's arms to stop him from pounding his head.

"Argh! PAIN!!! PAIN!!! MY HEAD! MY MIND!" Derrick shouted. A couple of male nurses arrived at the canteen due to complains and dragged Derrick back to his ward. After some time, Derrick finally calmed down.

"Elaine!" Derrick exclaimed, as he saw Elaine walking to his bed. He hugged Elaine tight and started to cry.

"Elaine! Painful memories..." Derrick sobbed. Elaine was at a lost too, she didn't know what she could do, except hugging him and giving him warmth. After all, she enjoyed the hug too. )But who knows? Heaven has been always making sport out of us.)

Elaine didn't want to let go of Derrick, but she had to, she was suffocating, Derrick tightened his hug till Elaine could not breathe.

"Derrick... Can you loosen a bit? I can't breath properly..." Elaine said, in a soft and weak tone.

"Woops. I'm sorry, really grateful to you..." Derrick said.

"Huh? Why are you grateful to me?" Elaine asked, puzzled.

"Because you put up with my nonsense for quite some time. Anyway, I never lost my memory, I just forced myself to stop thinking, that's why I was so hysterical. I wanna thank you for being right here for me. At least I know that there's still people around me to be there for me," Derrick said. Suddenly, the ward's door opened.

"Dad! Mum!" Derrick exclaimed, surprised. Derrick's parents came to visit him.

"Derrick! I'm so glad you're alright, I heard from Elaine that you lost your memory, how'd you remember us?" Derrick's mum asked.

"Mum, thanks to Elaine, she triggered something that made me remember, and got me out of the hysterical state I was in. She really did a very huge part as a great friend!" Derrick said to his mother.

Upon hearing the word 'friend', Elaine was quite put off. But she didn't give up. She really loved Derrick, and she have to be there for Derrick during his darkest period now. She looked at Derrick, and his parents and smiled as Derrick talked about her.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

One post-short story.

Once bitten, twice shy. Or not?

There was this couple, obviously, a guy and a girl. The girl loved the guy very much, because no other guys treated her as well before. One day, they decided to hunt for a chest of gold. They arrived at a wooden bridge. The guy offered to test out the bridge to see if the bridge is safe to cross. After crossing the bridge, the guy realized that the chest of gold is just nearby. He cut the rope of the wooden bridge. He signalled for the girl to cross and that the bridge is fine. The girl, without suspecting that the guy would try to kill her, crossed the bridge. She fell from the cliff, but fortunately her fall was cushioned by bushes at the sides of the cliff. She looked up, she saw the guy running away with the chest of gold and a sinister triumph on his face. She was heartbroken and couldn't bring herself to trust guys again.

After some time, she met up with another guy. The guy said that he liked her, but she didn't really trust his words, because she got hurt before. As the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy. So she didn't really believed what he say every now and then, she was afraid of getting hurt the second time. She didn't want a second period of sorrow and misery. One day, she decided to cross another wooden bridge with the new guy. She asked him to test out the wooden bridge by jumping in the middle of it. The guy, without hesitation or reluctance, he jumped. The wooden bridge shaked, and stopped. The girl said, "If you love me, jump again to prove your love. And also test out the bridge for me." The guy agreed and jumped once again. This time, it was clear that the old wooden bridge was about to give way. Just one more jump, and the whole bridge would give way. The guy paced up and down to make sure that the bridge was safe to walk, but definitely not to jump on. He signalled for the girl to cross. Upon experiencing this scene once again, hatred got the better of her. An image of the sinister guy appeared and she told her new, faithful lover to jump again on the same spot to prove his love and as well as to test the bridge. The guy knew that the bridge was going to give way, but he didn't inform the girl. He said, "Okay, if this will prove to you that i truly love you, I will do it." Immediately after saying, he jumped, and of course, the bridge gave way. He dropped down and hit his head on one of the rocks. He lost his memory. He lost the love he had for the girl too. The girl looked back, and she regretted.

What I'm trying to say in this story is that even though there's a saying, once bitten, twice shy, it doesn't apply to love. When you love another person, it's another whole new unique person, he or she is different from any of your past lovers. Whatever sorrow or misery you experienced in past relationships, might not occur in your next relationship. Every relationship is unique and new in their own ways, don't suspect your other half just because you got hurt before. You won't know how much sacrifices your current or future lover will make for you. Cherish the people who are important in your life. You might regret not cherishing but when you do, it might be just too late.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

Always in my mind

Chapter 13

"Oh come on, are you angry, Elaine?" Derrick said in an apologetic tone.

"Not really, but a little disappointed," Elaine said.

"Oh really?" Derrick asked.

"Because you used to be a very mature guy in the past. Suave, and upright. Not like now, so despicable with your tricks," Elaine shot at Derrick. He didn't seem to care though.

"*Coughs* Are you sure I'm an upright person? I'm a prankster! Pranksters are never upright!" Derrick shot back.

"Okay fine whatever, just open this bottle for me," Elaine said, as she handed a weird looking bottle to Derrick. He looked at the bottle with suspicion, but in the end, he still started turning the bottle cap.
"OUCH!" Derrick shrieked, he got shocked by the bottle cap.

"Haha! Tit for tat. How'd you like that?" Elaine triumphed, as she laughed at Derrick. She knew that she had to pull a prank back at Derrick.

"Hey! Fine! Then get lost from my sight," Derrick said, as he pushed the bottle to Elaine and cuddled himself in the hospital's bed, the blanket covering his head.

"Oh come on, are you that petty? I thought only girls are petty, I didn't thought a MAN like you would get angry so easily," Elaine said, as she folded her arms.

"Nah, I'm not angry," Derrick said, under his blanket. He was getting ready a squirt gun to fire at Elaine's face the moment she removed the blanket. He felt the blanket getting tugged, he held his water gun and put his index finger on the trigger. The blanket was tugged away, and Derrick immediately pointed the gun according the position Elaine was at. However, Derrick didn't pull the trigger.

"What are you doing?" the nurse asked.

"Oh, oh... Nothing..." Derrick kept his water gun, as he saw Elaine laughing behind the nurse.

---

Elaine had to think of something to stimulate Derrick's mind, and at the same time have to guard against his pranks. She recalled that Derrick loved butter prawns, but the canteen didn't sell them. So she came up with a plan.

"Dinner time!" Derrick said, as he jumped out of the hospital bed, and off to the canteen. Derrick looked at the canteen vendors, there were long queues on every store. Despite the long queue, Derrick was persistent on filling his stomach, so he went to the laksa store. After 20 minutes of queueing time, finally it was his turn to order.

"Can I have a bowl of laksa with extra noodles and extra tau pok?" Derrick asked.

"Err, sorry sir, you need to wait for half an hour, we've got to cook the laksa soup and noodles, today's business is great!" the vendor explained. Derrick was very disappointed, the moment he turned back, he saw Elaine, with a plate of butter prawns. His eyes grew in size and he rushed towards Elaine.

"Oh my god! Butter prawns! Elaine, can I have some?" Derrick asked, as he tried his very best to control his drool.

"Are you sure SOME? Or do you want to have all of it?" Elaine asked, with a smirk.

"All right! I don't mind if you give me ALL!" Derrick exclaimed, as he couldn't withstand his hunger anymore; he needed food.

"Okay, but you have to answer my questions. Whenever you answer correctly, I'll give you some," Elaine negotiated with Derrick. He couldn't resist his favorite food, so he agreed.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Always in the mind

Chapter 12

"Derrick, my name is Elaine, I'm your very good friend, don't you remember?" Elaine said, as she tried her best to stimulate Derrick's memory. Of course, saying such a polite way was never a method to stimulate memory.

"Oh. I see," Derrick replied nonchalantly. Elaine didn't know how to continue, she definitely need to think of something that could make Derrick remember her, but at the same time, not remember the bad times he had with Denise.

"You remember that we used to play tic tac toe on pieces of paper? Although it's very childish, but we loved playing it," Elaine said.

"Uh. Not really," Derrick replied nonchalantly, again. All that was on his mind was food. Before he actually hung out with Elaine, he indulged in delicacies almost everyday. He was rather obese then, but slowly, he worked out to burn off his fats and he became a suave tall man. Just right after he started getting on shape, he met Elaine in school one day. But he didn't remember about meeting Elaine.

"HEY DUDE! Do you want to regain your memory or not?" Elaine said, as she couldn't take his nonchalance anymore. She was there at the hospital trying her best to help Derrick regain his memory, and he's not showing that he's even appreciating it.

"Not really, it's better this way. Anyway, what's for lunch? It's already 11 plus... I'm hun..." Derrick couldn't finish his sentence.

"I'm here trying to help you, and you're not helping yourself! And you still can think of food!" Elaine reprimanded Derrick, but he still didn't seem to care much. He just walked out of the ward, and headed to the canteen. In Derrick's present world, Elaine wasn't as important as his meals and snacks, poor Elaine. She was left fuming in Derrick's ward, but she still didn't give up, she went with Derrick to have his lunch.

"Mmm, do you want some?" Derrick said, as he pushed a spoonful of fried kway teow towards Elaine. She blushed, and totally forgotten about his attitude back in the ward.

"Sure!" Elaine said, as she opened her mouth. Derrick slowly moved the spoon towards Elaine's mouth. When Elaine was about to move forward to eat, the spoon immediately disappeared from her sight. She looked at Derrick, as he ate the spoon of fried kway teow meant for Elaine. Those bad attitude, on top of the incident now, made Elaine burst out in anger.

"HEY! What is the meaning of this?!" Elaine said, as she stood up. Everyone else in the canteen stared at them. Derrick didn't really cared, till he finished his fried kway teow.

"Mmm! Nice! No meaning," Derrick said, as he rubbed his stomach with satisfaction. Without even listening to what Elaine was about to say next, he stood up and walked off, once again, leaving Elaine to fume with anger.

"Now Elaine, you got to calm down if you want to help Derrick to recover. Relax, tolerate, tolerate," Elaine thought to herself, as she followed Derrick back to his ward. Derrick lied on his bed, and flipped some magazines. Elaine sat down on the chair near Derrick's bed, she was still and quiet, deep in thoughts of how to stimulate Derrick's mind. When she saw how Derrick was so excited about his meals, she thought that food might stimulate his mind.

"Eh Elaine," Derrick said, as he flipped the magazine pages.

"Ya?" Elaine replied.

"Oh, it's really a surprise that you still care about such a jackass like me," Derrick said, as he closed the magazine.

"Huh? What you mean?" Elaine asked, puzzled.

"Disturbing people and making them frustrated is my hobby! Other than eating, well, this is all that I could remember, and I'm not even sure how long ago was that. Anyway, seriously, thanks for helping me stimulate my mind. Let's shake hands and forget about those nonsense I gave you?" Derrick said, as he stretched out his right hand. Elaine stretched out hers to shake Derrick's hand, but she felt a shock.

"Ouch! What the hell was that!" Elaine said, as she swinged her palm.

"Haha! You got pranked again," Derrick laughed, as he pointed at Elaine's plight. Elaine shook her head, as she looked at the childish Derrick.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Always in my mind

Chapter 11

Derrick searched high and low for Denise. He even asked girls to check the female toilet. But no one saw Denise. He started to have wild imaginations, but in this case, it's actually reality. Denise took all his savings, and ran. Derrick couldn't accept the truth though, he kept trying to contact Denise. He spent the whole day trying to contact Denise. He even tried calling Denise's house phone in malaysia, but no one picked up the phone. He figured, he didn't even tried calling that number before, Denise lied to him from the start. When he starts to realize that Denise was just toying with his feelings and also making use of him to pay off her debts, he starts to have hallucinations.

"Denise, why did you lie to me? WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?!" Derrick talked to the air. He was going insane. He was left with nothing, and he have to settle his bills in a few days time.

"Denise, I love you so much, why are you doing this to me? Did I do anything wrong?" Derrick talked to the air once again. If anyone would look at him now, he or she would definitely freak out. Derrick look so haggard now, his hair is in a mess and he definitely stank because he hadn't bathed for 3 whole days.

"Denise! Don't go! NO! DON'T GO!" Derrick said, as he walked towards the kitchen windows.

"NO! DON'T GO!" Derrick shouted, as he opened the windows with his key. He slowly climbed out of the window and stood at the edge. Below him was 3 floors of units. He looked down, as he let his body collapse and he closed his eyes. He had an instant of flashbacks with his past girlfriends, and lastly, Elaine, his very good friend who was there for him. His body hit on a few poles used to hang clothes, and that definitely saved his life. He fell on the floor though, but he didn't land on his head. He blacked out.

---

Derrick opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a girl, but his vision was blurred. It was Elaine.

"Derrick! Derrick!" Elaine exclaimed, as she stared at Derrick. He tried to move, but his legs were bandaged; they were broken. Derrick looked at Elaine, he couldn't recall anything.

"Derrick, the doctor said that your both legs would need about a month to recover, why did you attempt suicide?" Elaine said.

"Who are you?" Derrick asked.

"Who am I? Are you kidding me?" Elaine said, as her heart skipped a beat.

"Who the heck are you? Why am I here?" Derrick asked, nothing was on his mind. He even clean forgotten about Denise and all the things he did for the past few years.

"Huh?!" Elaine said, as she started to worry.

"Doctor!" Elaine said, as she went to find the doctor that bandaged Derrick and admitted him to the ward. The doctor arrived, requested Elaine to leave the bed for a while and he inspected Derrick.

"He seemed to have suffered an amnesia. Recovery chances are pretty low, so... I guess that you will have to stimulate his memory for him to remember some events in the past. But strangely, his amnesia might not have been caused by the fall, probably one of the reasons, but his insanity might be a reason too," the doctor explained. All Derrick could do was just stare at Elaine and the doctor, he totally don't have any recollection of anything that happened in the past few years. The latest event he could remember was his graduation in the Polytechnic. Upon hearing the news, Elaine couldn't control his tears, and she cried. But she was determined in helping Derrick regain his memory. She knew that it would be very tiring and definitely she had to be ready for disappointments, but she liked Derrick. She was willing to try her best to help him regain his memory, maybe she would have a chance to let Derrick fall for her.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Always in my mind

Chapter 10

Derrick didn't reply Elaine. He just stared at his blanket.

"Derrick?" Elaine said.

Derrick didn't move or said anything. Time seemed to have stopped in his world.

"Derrick?" Elaine said, again.

"Ya?" Derrick finally talked.

"How's your relationship with Denise? Didn't you hear me?" Elaine said.

"Oh, it's alright," Derrick answered.

"Are you sure you're alright? You seem to have became very haggard this month. Have you been taking up two jobs?" Elaine asked.

"Err... No," Derrick replied.

"Don't lie. You said you held two jobs just yesterday night, while you're drunk," Elaine said, trying to force Derrick to tell her the truth.

"Fine... I work as a 7-11 counter assistant in the night, and my usual work in the morning till evening..." Derrick said, he didn't want to continue about the plight he is in.

"In the night? Or should you say midnight?" Elaine asked, emphasizing on the 'midnight'.

"Okay... Midnight..." Derrick said. He didn't want anyone to know the plight he is in. Mainly because of his face and of course, he didn't want anyone to think that his relationship with Denise is affecting his life so greatly.

"And why are you working in the midnight too? Don't you have to sleep? And why are you working so hard?" Elaine asked, she seemed to be persistent on getting to the bottom of this matter.

"Why are you caring so much?" Derrick said. He hated himself for saying that though.

"Because I'm your best friend! I care for you! Are you working so hard because of that girl?" Elaine interrogated Derrick.

"YES! SO WHAT IF I'M WORKING SO HARD FOR HER? I LOVE HER!" Derrick's jovial side changed totally. Whenever someone criticized his girlfriend or his crush, he would definitely let anger and impatience get the better of him.

"Okay fine. So much for my concern," Elaine said, as she walked out of his room and sat in the living room. Derrick walked out of his room and rushed to the living room.

"I don't need your concern," Derrick said as something pricked his heart.

"FINE!" Elaine said, as her tears burst out. She took the key from the dining table and opened the door, rushing out of Derrick's house. She threw the key into Derrick's house as she put on her slippers. In seconds, there was total silence in Derrick's house. Derrick knelt on the floor, and he started punching the floor. He hated himself for saying those nasty words to Elaine. But he couldn't control himself, because he wanted to protect the girl he love. He wouldn't allow anyone to criticize her or blame her for anything.

Derrick's phone suddenly rang. It was Denise.

"Darling!" Denise said.

"Ya?" Derrick asked.

"Can pei me chat chat?" Denise asked, in a cute tone. Derrick's heart was melted by her voice. He totally forgot about what he said to Elaine, and of course, their second big quarrel because of Derrick's girlfriend. For the next hour or so, Derrick and Denise were chatting on the phone. Of course, Denise was calling from malaysia. Denise didn't have to worry about the phone bills, because there is always Derrick to help her pay. Derrick continued this lifestyle for the past few months. When finally... something happened.

---

"Darling!" Denise exclaimed, as she hugged Derrick at the customs.

"Hey darling! Nice to see you after these few months," Derrick said, as he wrapped his arms around Denise's waist.

"I miss you!" Denise exclaimed, as she tightened her hug.

"Yeah yeah, I miss you too, darling," Derrick said, as he closed his eyes. They were embracing in front of everyone else who were at the customs. Even the custom officers were looking at them.

"Darling, let's go to err... Plaza... Plaza something..." Denise thought hard of the place. Afterall, she's not a permanent singaporean citizen.

"Plaza Singapura my darling," Derrick said.

"Yeah! I wanna do some shopping, do you have enough money for today?" Denise asked.

"Err... I guess so..." Derrick said.

"Great! Let's go!" Denise exclaimed, immediately.

They soon arrived at Plaza Singapura. Denise gave Derrick her water bottle.

"Darling, are you thirsty?" Denise asked.

"Well... A bit, I'll drink your water then," Derrick said. As he downed half the bottle. They were window shopping, until Denise arrived at SK Jewellery.

"Darling! I want this necklace, it looks so beautiful!" Denise said, as she pointed at the necklace through the glass window.

"Err... But it's very expensive..." Derrick said, as he pondered for a while. He knew that he would end up buying it, but he was reluctant. Suddenly, he had a stomach ache.

"Darling! Pass me your card, I'll withdraw the money for you, tell me your pin number?" Denise asked, sinisterly.

"Err... I'll go with you to withdraw it," Derrick replied.

"But you got a stomach ache! Quick, you go to the toilet, I'll settle the necklace and I'll go to the toilet to wait for you," Denise said, she had something up her sleeve. Derrick's stomach ached once more, he couldn't take it any longer.

"Alright!" Derrick said, as he took out a piece of paper and wrote his pin number on it. He immediately rushed to the toilet to relieve himself. However, one trip wasn't sufficient. By the time he was done, 1 hour had passed. He found it strange that Denise didn't contact him at all. He thought that she was patiently waiting outside for him. But when he walked out to the shops area, he realized that Denise was no where in sight. He tried calling Denise, but to no avail. He started to panic.